Getting Smashed At Your Monster Mash
Crack O’ Lantern: You’ve heard about using an apple as a bong, but how about using a hollow pumpkin for smoking some crack? Just don’t do it on your front porch, maybe.
Inedibles: Holiday revealers love spotting a plate of pot cookies and brownies, but often you turn around for five minutes and suddenly they’re all gone! Save yourself from this awkward situation by adding THC to horrifying Halloween items that most will recoil from eating, like chocolate covered bugs, expired candy from that Hindu health food store. those weird looking Halloween cookies your kid makes every year etc.
Trick Or Treatment Center: This one is fun, and helps you get your steps in for the day. Just visit any friends who are currently an inpatient at a hospital or treatment center. When they eventually doze off, just grab any of their medications that you can and get the heck out of there!
Bobbing For Snapple: This is simply one part your favorite Snapple flavor, nine parts Everclear; the bobbing (and weaving) comes after a couple of glasses.
Axe-tasy: Ecstasy, but amped up to an amazing level. Hours and hours of a pure, sensual high. A small percentage of users will instead grab an axe and go on a viscous murder spree, but again, that’s just a small percentage.
The Masque Of The Red Meth: Make Halloween last for a week with this holiday favorite! When it gets late and trick or treaters stop ringing the doorbell, just grab a few bags of candy and take them directly to the kids!
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
