I Will Absolutely Be Sending My Kids Back To Swim At Amity Island Even Though Jaws Is Still In The Water
“No, because again, you know, children have a- a six times higher chance to die from the flu than from the coronavirus. So based on the data I’ve seen, I don’t believe that that’s a risk. Again, this virus impacts different people in different ways. We know a lot more now than we did. And assuming- our school is not opening up five days a week, I wish they were, but we absolutely will be sending our kids back to school and I have no fear in doing so.” – Jared Kushner responding to whether he is concerned about exposure to COVID when sending his kids back to school.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/
The Amity Island beach has been closed for too long. We need to get our kids back in the water. Is there still a 25 foot, 3 tonne great white shark hunting those waters? Yes, but the Jaws Task Force has created a lot of ways to help people who do get attacked have a much more benign experience with it.
Besides, if you look at the people who unfortunately have succumbed to the shark’s attacks, most of them are over 70. These were compromised senior citizens who, if they hadn’t been ferociously torn apart by a shark with an insatiable taste for human flesh, might very well have been done in by a jellyfish sting or a bad sunburn.
Based on the science and the data that I’ve been given – which may or may not be accurate – children have a six times higher chance to die from the flu than from a shark attack. Kids are basically immune to shark attacks, so everybody back in the water! Yes, I’m aware that a young boy, Alex Kintner, was killed by the shark.
Is the water still red with the blood of the shark’s victims? Yes. Are the shark’s daily attacks almost back up to what they were at the peak of his deadly feeding frenzy? Yes. Is it time to send children back into the crimson water just because it’s beach season? Absolutely.
Listen, even Mayor Larry Vaughn said that a beach lockdown is not the answer. We need to open the beach to keep our economy as healthy as possible so that when this shark has had his fill we haven’t destroyed our town to get through it.
Sure, chumming up the waters with children will increase the likelihood of a child getting attacked, possibly killed, but based on the data I’ve seen, I don’t believe that that’s a risk.
This shark impacts different people in different ways. It violently pulls some people underwater, only to have their partial remains wash ashore the next day while others it merely maims and leaves permanently disfigured.
When it comes to this shark, we know a lot more than we did. Considering it’s the first shark of its kind and we didn’t know anything about it to begin with, that isn’t saying much. But we still know more than we did. For instance, now we know that it’s not a good idea to go swimming if you have an open wound and are actively bleeding, that attracts the shark.
There has been some concern among the lifeguards that there will be too many children in the water for them to simultaneously supervise and keep safe from the shark. There has also been some concern regarding the discrepancy in the equipment available to the lifeguards. Some have whistles, some don’t. Some have lifesavers, some don’t. Some have megaphones, some don’t. Some lifeguards are afraid to go in the water because of the shark, some – well, they’re all worried about the shark.
I know there are a lot of nervous parents out there wondering if they should have their children return to the beach. Well, I’m a parent and my wife and I will absolutely be sending our kids back to swim at Amity Island even though Jaws is still in the water. It’s not opening up five days a week, I wish it were, but our kids are going to be there no matter how terrified they are of the shark. No, of course I have no fear in sending them, it’s not like I have to go in the water.
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Jason Garramone is a writer and all-around comedian. He enjoys laughing and making others laugh as well.