In Order to Appease Everyone in Our Community, We Decided to Rename Our School to ‘Robert E. Lee Was Bad High School’

Dear Students, Parents, and Community Members,

After much spirited debate and discussion—where valid points were brought up on both sides— the board has finally reached a decision regarding the school’s controversial name.

We understand that the name, Robert E. Lee High School, made certain individuals rightly uncomfortable, but we also recognize that removing the late Confederate general’s name outright would make other individuals equally uncomfortable. So from henceforth, our illustrious educational institution will be known as Robert E. Lee Was Bad High School. Win-win.

The board listened carefully to all the arguments that were brought before it, and we made sure that no one’s input was left out during our renaming process. Our esteemed country has been built on compromise, so we thought it was best to go with a school name that allows us to preserve our heritage while also recognizing that the heritage is racism, which is not great and we don’t like it.

Our hope is that Robert E. Lee Was Bad will continue its tradition of being a welcoming and inclusive space to all, regardless of race, color, or Confederate allegiance, and we believe our new name perfectly encapsulates that mission.

The school’s renaming was not an easy task on our part. The board debated over countless worthy ideas, including: “Robert E. Lee Screwed Up High School”, “Robert E. Lee Was Bad But Had Some Good Points High School”, “Robert E. Lee Was Bad But You Have To Understand The Moral Relativity Of His Time And Not Judge Him Too Harshly By Today’s Standards High School”, and “Martin Luther King Jr. High School”. In the end, we decided on what we believed was the best choice of the bunch.

Our superintendent is more than pleased with our decision, stating that our school’s new name will make it perfectly clear that any discrimination in the halls of Robert E. Lee Was Bad is bad. We hope that the community also recognizes that absolutely no hate or prejudice at Robert E. Lee Was Bad is good. It’s bad.

We here at Robert E. Lee Was Bad are proud of the progress we have achieved in rectifying a historical wrong. You don’t become the 57th best school in the state without making some tough choices. And going forward, we promise to make sure that we continue to acknowledge and scrutinize other problematic parts of our school’s history.

We plan to see you all tomorrow at the big game as we cheer on our Robert E. Lee Was Bad football team! Go Indians!

The Robert. E Lee Was Bad School Board