Best of 2023

Baby Babble Translations for New Moms

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da = Just trying it out, letting the mouth and tongue do their things. Dad will hear it and think it’s about him—typical. Still, you wonder why I didn’t say ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.


wid-toe-bobo ka aaaah? = Are you my mother? I thought the lady who takes care of me for eight hours a day and then leaves when you come home is my mother. She’s more fun than you.


gat-gat-nah = Pick me up, now put me down.


baba nom dombo takaka = Will you look at that? A toddler in the sandbox, a kid on the slide … and twins in the carriage? Now that’s what I call a mom.


wah-wah-wahhhh! = Granted this is more of an all-purpose cry for help than baby talk. Am I hungry? Tired? Thirsty, scared, hot, cold, sorry for driving you crazy? Yes and no. You should try it sometime and hope that someone does everything possible to meet your needs. 


dowdy ahahaha = Why do you want your old body back? Your new body looks fine. Of course, I never saw your old body.


ka da ka doo ba doo = The “educational” mobile over my crib scares the shit out of me. And … yep, diaper change time.


getsha koo-koo agaga = I’m going to crawl into your bed at 2 a.m. for the next three years.


gok-gok = Hand me your breast.


kitcha badabada = I’ve had this rash for two days, and you’re just now noticing? My other mother—the one who takes care of me five days a week—would have sensed my discomfort immediately. 


yai-yai pokka da = Where’s your good sweater? Hurry, I have to puke.


mai-mai-mai tododo no = Sherry in your new mother’s group is really attractive. Maybe she’d like to nurse me.


jah-cho-cho-cho = Look what I found in the cat litter box.


catzakup poodo = Soon enough I won’t need you, except to drive me places.


No, no, NO! = Translation unnecessary.

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma = Once I start talking I will never, ever shut up.