Jobs Well-Suited For A Disillusioned Twenty-Something Office Worker

  1. Headache Medicine Prescriber
  2. Arsonist
  3. Parachute Safety Inspector
  4. Parachute Test Subject Selector
  5. Person Who Pushes Parachute Test Subjects Out of the Plane
  6. Creative Arsonist
  7. Dog Height Estimator
  8. Horse Whisperer
  9. Horse Whisperer-whisperer (These people can’t talk to horses, but they can talk to people who can talk to horses. They can deliver bad news to them, especially if it concerns the horse. You’ll want a professional for this.)
  10. Quiet Guy at Parties
  11. Loud Guy at Movies
  12. Arsonist Blogger
  13. Landmine Spotter
  14. Landmine Spotter-spotter (If you need a Landmine Spotter, you’re gonna want to know where they are pretty much all the time.)
  15. Sailboat Counter (There’s always more sailboats than you think there are.)
  16. Celebrity Arsonist
  17. World Famous Butterfly-eater
  18. Arson Investigator
  19. Professional Sleep Tester (To test the sleeping environment of any room, anywhere, in any conditions.)
  20. Pie-taster or Pie-thrower (Depends upon salary and flavor of pie.)