Ladies, It’s Snack Time
PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi said in an interview last week that the company will be rolling out a line of products specifically targeted for women who want to “carry a snack in their purse.” In addition to crunchless Doritos, Pepsi is providing an exclusive preview of some of its other exciting new snack brands for today’s modern woman.
Niblets: Those Sweetgreen portion sizes are out of control–reach for these individually-wrapped salad bites when you get that arugula craving. Take some “you time” with Niblets!
Whistlestrips: Packaged in a gorgeous rose-gold tube, these bubblegum chews stick tightly to your teeth so you’re physically unable to respond to light-to-medium sexual harassment. Try a Whistlestrip next time your boss gets kind of weird!
UGoGirlz: Using the empty promises of late-stage capitalism, we air-pop yogurt bites for all the flavor with half the cals. Fuel up for that big presentation the smart way, girl 😉
ChunkaHunks: Alone at a bar waiting for your date--again? These chocolate dreamboats come in a clutch-sized pack so you can discreetly snack as he ghosts you. Taste a little naughtiness today!
Laydeeeez: These Goop-approved vegan treats (secret ingredients: ground avocado pits and turmeric!) come in an easy-to-slice roll that’s a breeze to throw into the oven before girls’ night. What else would your ladies want for the Bachelor viewing party?
Streem: Keep that bod rockin’ during cuffing season by choosing to snack on this film of leftover green smoothie residue. Things that taste terrible are good for you!
GloUps: We use the finest dried face mask shreds for an irresistible crunch and that she’s-got-it-all radiance. All-natural ingredients like honey, tea tree oil and aloe make them pretty safe to eat (we think LOL)!
Wine: It’s a little jug of wine!!!! For your purse!!!!!
Molly Taft lives in New York City. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney’s, Buzzfeed, Splitsider, The Hairpin, and the Washington Post Magazine. By day, she writes about climate change; after hours, she works on her night cheese.