Letters From The Frontlines Of The War On Christmas

Wartime correspondences are an important factor in maintaining morale among troops. Soldiers would often relay their harrowing experiences to their loved ones as a way to process and rejuvenate their fighting spirit. The “Letters From The Frontlines” Project acts as a historical record of their traumatizing wartime experiences. 

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My Dearest Trudy,

They’ve done away with the Christmas greeting. First, it was the department stores, then came the chains. Walmart, Macy’s, Ross Dress for Less. Yes, my love, even your beloved Ross Dress for Less has fallen. We’re under siege and taking it from all sides. Oh, how wrong I was to believe the southern front would see less battle. The Secularists are attempting to take the schools next but we’re not going to let that happen.

Over. Our. Dead. Bodies.

Merry Christmas,

Teddy

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Dear Mom,

If you’re reading this then you know I’ve dropped out of college to enlist in the war effort. I’ve heard stories from the other recruits of elementary schools banning the Christian image of a Christmas tree. Acceptance of all religions is an erasure of the teachings of Jesus and a spit in the face to all Christians.

Anyway, I’m being shipped off soon and just wanted to say Merry Christmas.

Love,

Tommy

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Sweetheart,

Went to a Target tonight. I was horrified to learn the nutcrackers have turned gay. Why must these Secularists sexualize everything? Put your nuts in its mouth like the rest of us and enjoy the birth of our Lord.

Merry Christmas,

Jim

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Honey,

I hardly know how to begin without stirring you into a panic but I’ve witnessed horrors you could never imagine. I’m horrified to even write these words down. [BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR   black Santa Claus BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR BLACK CENSOR BAR] These are hate crimes against Christians.

Please pray for me.

Yours forever,

Dougie

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Jack,

The Secular forces are advancing. Starbucks’ iconic Christmas cups have now replaced all of the iconic sacred Christmas symbols (Reindeer, Santa, Christmas lights etc.) with a blank red cup. I fear this war is already lost.

If you don’t hear from me after tonight please let mom and dad know I did all I could to save the Starbucks cups.

Love you Bro,

David

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Martha,

I’ve come bearing terrible news. We lost Larry “Skinny” Wilson today. The boys and I are taking it pretty hard. To think, one day you’re throwing the pigskin with one of your best friends and the next day he’s saying, “Happy Holidays” and raising his kids half-Jewish.

When will this hell end?

Love,

Peter

PS. Pay no attention to the news about the returning men with “thousand yard stares.” I’ll be strong for you when I get back, don’t you worry.