MAGAts- Your Guide To Trump Loving Right Wing Extremists

Orville N. Seste   
Eyes so close to one another that from a distance he appears to be a cyclops;  doesn’t like this comparison, mostly because any sort of creature from an imaginary land has to be “gay”.     Happy that trolls such as he can now feel free to crawl out from beneath their respective bridges, even though they now seem determined to burn said bridges down.     Believes that Trump is his best bet at having rape legalized in the US at some point in the near future.    Has a penis so tiny that it doesn’t even go all the way through to the other side of the glory hole.   And he’s tried.   A lot.

Caramel Cornhole
Lead singer of Kid Rock tribute band, Salmonella Fitzgerald.    Tries to make time to attend most Trump rallies, mostly for the feelings of community and shared hatred of anyone who is even slightly different from him.    Plus the occasional porta potty dalliance.     Very against gender pronouns, but at the same time has to admit that it’s sometimes difficult to tell the men from the women at these Trump rallies.

Tessie Tickles
Host of the right wing podcast Tessie Gets Messy, which is less a talk show than a series of racist and /or homophobic diatribes.    So kind of like FOX News if it were broadcast from the poorly lit back porch of a lime green trailer.   Not at all concerned about abortion / female reproductive rights and related healthcare issues, as she never realizes that she’s pregnant until she’s in the middle of having the baby anyway.   Has heard the theories that right wing conservatism has gone down a much more intolerant, racist, hateful path, and is perfectly comfortable with that.    Has a tattoo of a Care Bear giving the Nazi salute.

Eve Summers
Was at the capital on Jan 6th, but only entered the building to try and get exact change for a persnickety vending machine.    She did end up making a bowel movement on a senator’s office floor, but only because the restroom down the hall was closed for maintenance and the taco truck outside was clearly poorly ventilated.    Upon returning to her small town of Moist Refuse, Kentucky, she quickly noticed that all of the drinks at her local watering holes were on the house, so she decided to just go with it for the time being.    She does dislike immigrants, though, so that should count for something.

Burl Burleson
Mostly attends the Trump rallies due to the fact that vendors there are the only ones who carry the XXXXXXXXXXXXX-LLL Trump t-shirts that he prefers.    Enjoys these rallies more than the KKK rallies he once attended on a regular basis, due to the diversity in the types of things / people to hate.     Very much wanted to participate in the events of Jan 6th, but wasn’t able to find scooter access into the capital building.   So committed to the right wing lifestyle that he sold  his Trans-AM once all of the gender confusion controversy became a big political sticking point.