Lies Your Wife Has Told You

Refurbishing old bird houses is a cool hobby.

You’re the only man she’s allowed to put it there.

Thinning hair looks great on certain types of men.

That guy she was having a drink with at Applebee’s is her cousin.

Back hair isn’t gross, it’s just part of your body, and she loves all of you.

She hasn’t told any of her friends that you have a third grade reading level.

None of the guys at her high school reunion ever got past second base back in the day.

She doesn’t even know your iPhone password, and how dare you.

It wasn’t a sex cult, it was simply a book club that sort of got out of control.

She wasn’t blackout drunk at the party, it was a reaction to her new medication.