I work too hard.
My muscles are too big.
I have too many fingers on each hand, for typing.
Excellent communication skills and the ability to work on a team are unfortunately an Old Family Curse.
My ability to work on a team is so good that I’ve never had to deal with weird team dynamics like Jerry referring to the women on the team as “girls” because I nipped that in the bud pronto and didn’t let it become a bigger issue for HR to handle. I understand if that’s a problem.
I spend a lot of time worrying about these season tickets to the Red Sox I can never use…
I have over five years of experience in this field, despite this job listing only requiring three. But because of that dedication I never learned how to swim or bike.
However, I have little to no experience sending passive aggressive “per my last email” emails.
I can never play Words With Friends with my co-workers because I never, ever bring my personal phone to work, and I wouldn’t even want to.
I don’t own any “funny” ties.
I bring lunch from home and eat while working at my desk too much. However, I have a devastating mercury allergy and have never microwaved fish in a break room. Sorry!
I make coffee so good my entire team once started to cry after their first sip and we all had to go home. It was so embarrassing. I’m being a little vulnerable by telling you about this.
I know how to use Excel. I know, I’m such a nerd!
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Lauren Spinabelli is a writer from Pittsburgh. She lives in Brooklyn right now. Follow her on Twitter @spinubzilla.