CARTOON: Retirement?

Maybe those golden years of driving a Uber. Today's cartoon by Rich Sparks.

Responses to the Question, 'Is Your Company Hiring Assassins?'

“Not looking for assassins per se, but we need an HR person with experience running exit interviews on the edge of the roof of our building .”

CARTOON: Circle of Life

The family business of stress. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Monday The 16th

The Horror! Mondays. Today's cartoon by Zack Rhodes.

CARTOON: Job Growth

Moving on up! Today's cartoon by Zack Rhodes.

Introducing The Royal Court of Anxiety

Oh dear. I am the queen mother of my daughter hasn’t texted back today and I think it’s probably botulism. And more!

CARTOON: Later Skater

Weak End. Today's cartoon by Mat Barton & Adam Cooper.

CARTOON: No Escape No Problem

A-maze-ing. Today's cartoon by Pardis Parker and Aria Ghalili.


Might need the whole week. Today's cartoon by Cerise Zelenetz.

Cover Letter For a Job I Do Not Want But Need

To be completely honest with you, the idea of making money is very exciting to me. Allow me to put things into perspective for you. Last night I had a glass of water and an episode of The Sopranos for dinner. Am I painting a clear enough picture for you, employer? I need this job…I need it bad!

Even Though the Office Is Still Completely Engulfed in Flames, I’m Gonna Need You All to Come Back in Full Time

That said, going forward I expect everyone to come in at least 40 hours a week, which, coincidentally, is the exact amount of time that the human body can withstand such temperatures before their internal organs begin to melt. Failure to show up for the full 40 hours will be taken as your resignation.

CARTOON: Home Office Management

No place to hide. Today's cartoon by Len Hawkins.

How to Be a Woman in Advertising, According to the Men I Work With

Know how to take a joke, but not make a joke. Speak up, but not too much. Be a mom, but not a real mom because that’s not hot. And more!

CARTOON: Showtime

Ready for my close up. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Back To Work

Plus I'm out of coffee. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

I’m Just Calling to Follow Up on the Email I’m About to Send You

Are you getting another call right now? That’s me, hitting you up on Microsoft Teams. If we talk on Teams and the phone at the same time, we can do a post-mortem on this follow-up call while I prioritize the tasks for the email I’ll send you later that we’re following up on now. That way we won’t have to circle back later and rehash things we haven’t talked about yet.

12 Festive Ways To Fire A Whole Bunch Of Employees Right Before Christmas

Hold an office Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Ask select personnel to hang their now-deactivated key cards as ornaments. Elves escort the terminated out before entertainment arrives.

CARTOON: Think Fast

Explosive opportunities. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

Gregor Samsa Returns to Work

I want you all to know that, despite the fact that I now take the form of a monstrous vermin, I'm still the same old Gregor, who listens to yacht rock at his desk and loves the Mets (even though they’re killing me, haha). The only difference is I now have six legs and a hard exoskeleton covering my entire body. Still, I don't expect any special treatment from anyone.

Translating Your Office Water Cooler’s Little Gurgle Noises

Three quick bubbles and three long bubbles: Uh oh, there’s trouble afoot! That cooler’s getting low, and it’s time for office manager Devin to hoist up a new multi-gallon and send the empty one to its eternal slumber.

CARTOON: Scream Pillow

Covered in good vibes. Today's cartoon by Nathan Cooper.


Newly sharpened pencils, erasers, and coffee mugs.

Congratulations, You’re Going Back to the Office! 

Since it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other in person, we thought it’d be fun if we all did nametags. You’ll get one to use throughout the year, so make sure you take care of it. Please write your name, blood type, and emergency contact information on it. Don’t be afraid to get creative with your design! 

A List Of Demands That Must Be Met For Me To Return To The Office

No one is allowed to comment on how early I’m eating my lunch. Instead of a desk and adjustable chair, I work on a Queen-size mattress. A whiteclaw mini fridge. And more!


No work out, just work. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Honest Drafts of My Goodbye Email

As of today, I will no longer be doing my job here. Or Mike’s or Pete’s or even Crystal’s, am I right? You all relied on me so heavily that it broke me! For exactly half of what I asked for in salary, zero other benefits, and a birthday cake I had to pay for myself — what a steal!

CARTOON: Bird Brain

Quick unsend! Come back! Today's cartoon by David Ostow and Dan Salomon.

CARTOON: Zoom Clean

Clean your zoom. Today's cartoon by Rich Sparks.

If I Started Talking to My Best Friend the Way I Talk to Myself

Oh, and you look like a corpse when you wear yellow. It’s not “fun” if you’re an ambulating cadaver. Donate your yellow garments, girl.

CARTOON: Team Player

Who brought the orange slices? Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Nail Your Job Interview with These ‘Greatest Weaknesses’

I make coffee so good my entire team once started to cry after their first sip and we all had to go home. It was so embarrassing. I’m being a little vulnerable by telling you about this.

Ultra-Trendy Side Hustles

Explaining rap lyrics to the elderly, and more!

Email Reminders You Can Give So Your Colleague Will Finish the Project He is Being Paid to Complete

The Buzzword Reminder: Per my last email, see below to remember that I am pinging you to circle back on the follow-up we agreed on. Perhaps we should find time on the calendar for a quick check-in or an all-hands meeting? Let’s take the convo offline if need be and we can loop in the appropriate people.

How To Succeed In Your Work Retreat Ice Breaker Games At Lake Manuwaka

Before we dive into our fun-packed rigid weekend itinerary –complete with SEVERAL trust-building exercises and virtually hundreds of opportunities to see the entire accounting team awkwardly wade into GORGEOUS lake Manuwaka in their saggy one-piece bathing suits—we’re going to start out with some fun, high energy ice breaker activities. So, leave your unmarked backpacks full of your business casual attire and valuables in that pile by the shore and come join us in the circle!

Yes, My Internet is Also Down

I feel so alone right now. The rest of you are just going ahead and working like there's no problem, like one of your coworkers isn't totally without internet. You really find out who your friends are when your internet's down. I feel like a wounded buffalo that the herd is moving away from so I don't weaken the group.

Improper Uses of “I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your test results were positive.


Most Likely to Impede, Reddest Eyes On Monday Morning, Brownest Nose and more #OfficeSuperlatives!

Hi Co-worker! It’s Me, That Guy That’s Always Brushing His Teeth In The Men’s Room

So, you’re heading over to the urinal are you? Perfect. I’ll be right here. Watching you in the big mirror while I go to town on these cuspids with a perfect counterclockwise motion.

Please Deliver This Request for Proposal by End of Week

My boss told me “deadline has the word ‘dead’ for a reason.” Help.

An Asylum Seeking Migrant Answers Tricky Office Job Interview Questions

They always try to get you with those trick questions.

VIDEO: Drama at the Office

How do you tell someone you have literally no desire to see what they've been working on - but, like, in a nice way?

Would You Like To Work At Our Start Up?

Hello, Trailblazer! Are you a passionate, driven individual…

My Bombshell Revelation: I, Your Friendly Office Co-Worker, Am Actually an Asshole

My fellow GloboPlanet Corporate Headquarters Employees: It…

I Bought An Exercise Ball For My Desk And Now It’s Easier Than Ever To Masturbate at Work

I try to make healthy choices, so I bought an exercise ball to…

New Career Suggestions For My Freeloading, Annoying, Worthless Coworkers

Acting They certainly have the practice of pretending to be…

Welcome To The Team! Now, Let's Find You A Good Place To Cry, Shall We?

From: To: Subject:…

Alliterative Day-of-the-Week Themes to Boost Morale at Your Startup

  Mole Mondays Nope, not the cute little furry critter!…