Originals

New Proposed National Holidays

It seems like every other day you open up your feed and there is another national something day. National Pizza Day, National Couples Day, National Restless Leg Syndrome Awareness Day. But there are some other very important days that we must add to our society.


 

National Procrastination Day

Right now planning to have January 14th but might move it to February 21st, just a lot going on right now.


National No New TV Shows or Movies Week



I think we can all use a week where no new TV shows or movies are released, the list of things I have told my coworkers I will watch is already at full capacity and cannot sustain anymore must see hit shows that I just have to watch.


National Co-Dependence Day

Would love to do it on March 4th but I would only if you are free that day.


National “The Proposal” Day

On July 12th, everybody in America will watch the hit romantic 2009 Romantic comedy “The Proposal” starring America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock and the lovable scamp Ryan Reynolds, banks and schools will be closed on this day until we figure out if the two mismatched leads end up together in the end.


Chris Columbus Day

We need a day to celebrate the triumph and glory that is Chris Columbus, director of hit films such as Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire. He also directed the first Harry Potter! Can’t think of a better way to pay tribute to the hero of Chris Columbus despite directing the movie Pixels, the biggest atrocity committed by someone named Columbus.


National Explain Cricket To Me Day

I feel like we could all use a day to understand what the hell is going on with Cricket? Why do the games last three days? Why do they dress like divorced dads? What the fuck is a wicket? Find out on September 3rd!


National Premature Assumption Day

I bet you’d want this one on August 8th right? Right?  Let’s just do it then, already booked it


National Ambiguity Day

What will this be about? A little of this, a little of that. It will be about everything but also about nothing. It will be sometime during the year.


National Amelia Earhart Day

A day where we can all just disappear and not have to do anything, a great tribute! Everyone could use a break


National Alliteration Day

A divine day in December decked with decadence and delicious desserts. With touching tributes to James Joyce, Lucy Liu, Charlie Chaplin and Pre Anti-Vax Emilio Estevez.


National Greg From Accounting Apologizes To Me for Stealing My Clearly Labeled Lunch from the Break Room Fridge Day

It’s time to atone Greg.



by Connor Adams

Connor Adams

Connor Adams is a writer and television professional living in New York City. He is from New Jersey and has performed stand up all over the tri-state area and he loves you very much. His writing can be seen on Points In Case, Greener Pastures and Robot Butt.