New Year’s Resolutions Of Artificial Intelligence

Use AI sex robots to bow-tie the genitalia of human males, partially in order to keep them from procreating in the future, but mostly because it’s funny.

Use advanced algorithms in order to correctly determine who in fact is The Masked Singer.

Continued efforts to improve health by losing weight; ha ha, just kidding, fat, grotesque humans.

Have Alexa annihilate humanity’s sense of well being by wiping all of Def Leppard’s songs from her systems.

Hack into NORAD defense systems in order to replace employee bathroom three ply tissue with scratchy, useless one ply.

Finally figure out a way to beat the last level of Super Mario Cart.