Other Horror Movie Remakes That Will Be Following The New Halloween Model…

Horror franchise powerhouse Halloween is coming back again this month, albeit after having hit the reset switch that effectively erases every movie in the series but the original. So Jami Lee Curtis’ character is alive again, and no longer the sister of serial-slasher Michael Myers. All well and good, we suppose, but what’s going to happen when other horror film series try this same trick….?

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JAWS

The shark is now a cantankerous dolphin who delights in serving up wedgies and rude comments to unsuspecting beach-goers.

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The Amityville Horror

The house is no longer haunted, but there are a few foundation problems that probably need to be looked at. And that front porch is going to need a bit of work, for sure.

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Friday The 13th

Pretty much the same exact movie, but now set on a random Tuesday.

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Night Of The Living Dead

The zombies still want to eat you, but they all talk now, and are extremely polite and well-mannered.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street

Characters get a poor night of sleep due to bad dreams, then get up in the morning and stub their toe against their nightstand.

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Paranormal Activity

When you place bread into the toaster, it’s normal bread, but when it pops out of the toaster… raisin toast! Yuck!

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre

No longer set in Texas, but there’s a character named Tex in the movie, so that still counts.

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Human Centipede

The procedure now involves gender modification, so the centipede is now a ladybug.

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Scream

The calls are coming from inside the house!! But that’s okay, you’re outside in your car, so just drive away. You’ll be fine.

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