I’ll Let the Hostages Go When You Agree to a Sky High Sequel

I can hear you outside my bunker, asking me to let the beautiful family I kidnapped go free, but I have one caveat.  I don’t care about your money or your threats to use force. I only want one thing: for you to make a Sky High sequel.


Yes, I’m talking about the 2005 Disney coming of age story about a high school for superheroes.  Remember it? Most people don’t. It’s the one TV Guide Magazine called “limp, forgettable fluff”.  Well look who’s forgettable now, TV Guide?!


This lack of Sky High awareness gives me great frustration.  I tried to fight it peacefully with letter writing campaigns and rallies, but no one else came!  I took that hurt and manifested it into the many fires I set around town, kidnapping, and bank robberies.  This sequel needs to get money for a budget somehow; I just need another ten million.


I see you’re now throwing tear gas at my bunker.  But let me explain why Sky High deserves a second movie.  We were left with so many questions.  What ever happened to Will Stronghold, the boy with both flight and super strength powers?  Did he go into real estate? Did Laila ever learn to create lemons out of thin air? Why did Warren Peace work at a Chinese restaurant?  The questions are endless. I can direct you to my blog where you will find more of my frustrations. Articles include “Warren Peace and Will Stronghold: Friends, Enemies, or Lovers”, “Will Mr. Boy Learn to Grow Up” and “Commander and Jet Stream’s Private Times”.  It’s all on www.SkyHigher.Blogspace.org. On that note, I would like for the sequel to be called Sky Higher.


Now you’re coming at me with those tanks the government gave you.  And let me just answer your question: no, I will not let my hostages go!  I just want you to go to Disney and force them to make a Sky High sequel.  I know they’re busy with Marvel and Star Wars and princesses, but if you want this family to live, you’ll have them make time.


Can you imagine my pain of not living in a Sky High oriented world for so long?  The rejection from society turning me into a Sky High pariah?  My friends don’t even remember the name of the villain (it’s Gwen).


Oh, now you’ve brought out a bargainer.  And my family? And you’re telling me it was announced in 2016 that Disney may make the sequel (otherwise known as Sky Higher)?  Guess what?  I already knew that.  I frequently visit the Sky High Wikipedia page.  But I don’t trust them.  They’ve made too many promises they can’t keep.  Raven Symone wasn’t even in Cheetah Girls 3.


The Wilson family may not appear to have any connection to the 2005 box office smash otherwise known as Sky High, but believe me they do.  I have tracked this family for months only to find that the two children, Aiden and Maya, have been raised on lesser Disney franchises like Frozen.  They weren’t even alive to see Sky High’s release!  So I’m making sure they appreciate the film by showing it to them on a loop and quizzing them hourly.  I’m banking on Stockholm Syndrome to take place; that way I’ll finally have someone agree with me about this pressing issue.


I don’t care that you have a SWAT team now coming at me full force.  Sue me, lock me up, I don’t care. Just please, I’m begging you, make this sequel.  With a 50-million-dollar budget. And if you are only going to keep one original cast member, let it be Kurt Russell.

The hostages I have may be scarred for life, but at least they’ll have Sky Higher to help them get through this.