Proper Care and Maintenance of Your Brand New Voodoo Doll
Your new voodoo doll is not a small dog; please do not dress it in a variety of cute outfits.
I can’t believe that we still have to say this, but do not allow voodoo dolls to share needles.
Are you crazy?? Absolutely do not play hacky sack with your voodoo doll.
Please do not display your voodoo doll with your Beanie Babies; it’s just insulting.
Do not use your voodoo doll to murder the person who created the voodoo doll. The poor thing would be in therapy for years.
The Hamburger Helper mascot is not a voodoo doll, and asks to please just be left alone.
Leaving a voodoo doll in a hot car carries the same penalty as it would be with a child.
Voodoo dolls cannot give financial advice, please adjust your expectations.
If you happen to get drunk and make out with your voodoo doll one evening, best to just not mention it the next day.
Do not use the needles to give your voodoo doll a tattoo.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
