Best of 2020

How the Mitch Stole Stimulus

Every Blue down in Blue-Ville loved stimulus a lot.

But the Mitch who lived in the Senate of Blue Ville did not.

The Mitch hated stimulus! The whole Covid season

Maybe because he believes socialism is treason. 

It could be with his wallet he is too tight.

It could be he doesn’t believe in the working man’s plight.


But I think that the most likely reason of all. 

May have been that his peen was two sizes too small.

But whatever his reason, his heart or his peen. 

He blocked the stimulus, determined to be mean. 


Staring down from his high horse with a sour Mitchy frown 

at the unemployed workers trying hard not to drown. 

For he knew every Blue down in Blue Ville beneath

Was busy now hanging hopes on Biden’s reach. 


“And they won’t stop their clucking,” he snarled with a sneer.

“Soon, it’ll be Christmas! The need for stimulus is here.”

Then he growled, with his Mitch fingers nervously drumming,

“I must find some way to keep the stimulus from coming!”


You’re a mean one, Mr. Mitch.
You won’t meet to negotiate a deal.
The economy is as dry as a cactus.
Yet you show no signs that you feel.
Mr. Mitch!
You know Trump is bananas.
It’s an election no one could steal!
You’re a monster, Mr. Mitch!
Your offer is full of holes, you only give to businesses what about the unemployed souls!
Mr. Mitch!
I wouldn’t touch your poor excuse for a stimulus, with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!