Surprise Nominee Gritty Elected To The Supreme Court.
Gritty is a monster with an impeccable record, both in his academic standing and his professional history. He is known for his athleticism, hobby marksmanship and googly eyes.
The decision comes shortly after Brett Kavanaugh, the other monster previously being considered for the position was shown to be a despicable, impartial sex abuser during his hearing last week.
But, those concerned that these allegations could “ruin” Kavanaugh’s career needn’t worry. The former judge has already been signed on as the Philadelphia Flyers’ new mascot, where he will occupy the more befitting role of terrifying children for years to come.
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Brandon Hicks writes plays performed by real people, and draws cartoons performed by fake people. His work has appeared in Splitsider, The Syrup Trap, American Bystander and regularly on The Rumpus, where he also serves as an associate cartoon editor. Unfortunately, he’s also Canadian.
