Brett Kavanaugh’s 1982 Calendar

{ Transcript of provided Brett Kavanaugh 1982 Calendar }

July 2 – “Start spontaneous towel slapping fight in locker room”

July 4 – “Remind Mark Judge to bring tequila & condoms to Fourth of July BBQ”

July 5 – “Pick up Mark from the JC Penny’s lost and found”

July 6 – “Miami Vice costume party kegger. I’m Crocket, Mark is Tubbs. Reminder buy pink shirt, white pants, Cool-Rays”

July 9 – “Organize French tickler collection by class of felony”

July 10 – “Visit Yale, Remember Visine.”

July 13 – “Fun crafting project! Coordinate, alphabetize and color code potential alibis.”

July 14 – “FFFFFFFBastille Day!”

July 15 – “Pickup America’s new album, “View from the Ground.” Perfect make out music!

July 16 – “Make appointment for “Kavanaughty But Nice” tramp stamp tattoo.”

July 17 – “Visit Columbia University: Remember to check out library. Haha!”

July 18 – “Maryland Shore Bitch—I mean Beach Party. Haha! Note to self: Don’t black out. Again.”

July 20 – “Don’t forget to stop by bowling alley bathroom”

July 21 – “Hypothetical Plans”

July 22 – “Buy gag dick” – (X’d out)

July 24 – “Pick up hangover cure burgers for buddies, and stomach-pump kits for girls passed out in front yard.”

July 25 – “Don’t forget! Final day to join Cock Trial!”

July 27 – “Sears Annual Calendar Sale!!!”

July 28  – Did not go to party at beach. Did not get wasted.  Did not assault Christine Blasey.  Do not even know a Christine Blasey.

July 31 – “Finally get to meet Mark’s friend Bart O’Kavanaugh! Just don’t tell him ‘no!’ haha [heart]”


written by @mattrotman @paul_lander and @kitlivley