Posts

All These Ballplayers Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames Is Killing Baseball

Answer me this, MLB. How are fans supposed to enjoy a day out at the ballpark while constantly on edge that their favorite players could at any point start smoldering and catch fire?

Take Me Out to the New & Improved Ballgame

Zipline Substitutions: Instead of waiting forever for a new pitcher to reach the mound, he'll zipline in from the bullpen.

#IceCreamBaseballTeams

New York Melts, Colorado Rocky Road, Oakland Sorbets, and more #IceCreamBaseballTeams on this week's trending joke game!

All the New Rules in Major League Baseball

Baseline obstacle accounting. Beehives will be played about every four feet along both the first and third baselines, and the bees will be angry.

The Rules of Baseball Caps

Let’s say the cap in question is an Expos cap. If someone else utters “Go Expos” or a similar phrase, you must express return excitement verbally or via a gesture. The sound or gesture must be such that a typical, rational person would interpret it as a sign of enthusiasm.

Power Rankings of My Son’s Little League Baseball Roster

Atop the list for the sixth consecutive week is Niko Cherry. Nicknamed “Cherry Bomb” for his ability to blast the ball (almost) to the outfield, Niko is the oldest kid on the team and it shows. With broad shoulders and early signs of a mustache on his upper lip, he’s been feasting on both pitchers and hitters this season. If he continues his torrid pace, league officials may just have to take another look at that birth certificate. 

I’m the Guy who Makes the Fake Crowd Noise at Baseball Games, and Yes, I Have Been Secretly Inserting Rupi Kaur Poems

“Dad,” you say. “It’s poetry!” “NO,” he yells. “It’s BASEBALL. We should have never sent you to [liberal arts college]!!” Of course, you were both right. Which is why I’m coming clean...

CARTOON: Zoom Batter!

Hope they are charged up for the game! Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

A Note on the “No Passionate Open Mouthed Kissing” Rule for the 2020 Baseball Season

P.S. Goes without saying, but we’ve also cancelled the Seventh Inning French.

CARTOON: Zoom Wave

Let's do the digital WAVE, got any cyberdogs!? Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

The Commissioner's Adjusted Rules For The 2020 MLB Season

Along with having a universal designated hitter every team will be assigned a designated tickler, Stadiums will replace hot dogs with normal temperature regular dogs, Gloves will be replaced with a hand of bananas. And more.

CARTOON: Baseball Signs

Bases loaded and now it's time for some cake. Today's cartoon by J.C. Duffy.

How to Make Baseball More Exciting

Instead of having managers wear the team’s uniform, make them only wear leather. Raise the pitcher’s mound by 10 feet. And more.

CARTOON: Snowman Baseball

We need to bring the heat. Opening day cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Revised Major League Baseball Team Names Under The Rule Of Its New Commissioner, A Guy Who Loves Happy Days

Oakland Aaaaaaaaaas, Houston Space Fonzies, Texas Cowboy Fonzies and more.

Baseball’s State-of-the-Union

As the 89th annual Midsummer Classic is upon us, it’s that time again when baseball sizes up how to improve public perception and sales after the All-Star break, or really, the old-age question; “How do we draw more of today’s youth to the sport to fill more seats?”

Baseball Terms Explained for the Non-Baseball Fan By Someone Who Definitely Knows Baseball Very Well

AB - Player saw  “a bat” SB - Player “saw” a “bat” BK…

Get Your Tickets Now: Special Promotions For The 2018 Baseball Season

April 16, Phillies @ Braves—Bark at the Park Night, plus a…

Play Ball!: People Trump Would Like to Throw Out Instead of Traditional First Pitch

Carmen San Diego Mueller Random Cabinet Member Mueller Overrated…

CARTOON: Baseball