Baseball Terms Explained for the Non-Baseball Fan By Someone Who Definitely Knows Baseball Very Well

AB – Player saw  “a bat”

SB – Player “saw” a “bat”

BK – Player at bat drew a blank and forgot to hit the ball!

E – A score was evened that day, my friend

RBI – Player signed a petition to reboot ‘Benson’ immediately

HR – Player referred to team’s Human Resources department because medical insurance paperwork was not properly filled out

AVG – Number of ‘Avengers’ movies player has seen

1B – Player’s name is pronounced “Bobby” but spelled “Boby”

2B – Player quoted famous Hamlet soliloquy in its entirety while running to second base

3B – Player’s name is pronounced “Bobby” but spelled “Bobbby”

BB – First pitch thrown out by Hollywood actress Bonnie Bedelia

TP – Player needed TP for their bunghole

PA – Player verbally expressed missing their deceased grandfather who raised them

DP – Double penetration

R – “Rhythm Method,” player’s birth control of choice

SH – Safe house erected on field

ER – Unknown

ERA – Games are measured by how many episodes of ‘ER’ on Hulu manager watched in dugout

CG – Official Game Cake was covered in delicious chocolate ganache

W – Player made “Weezer” logo with fingers

SLG – Player purchased a slammin’ LG phone [#sponcon]

IP – Intentionally puckish. Player was just really something else today!

SHO – Several homeruns offered; pitcher invited batter to hit many homerruns!

K – Potassium; pitcher ate a banana for muscle cramps

WP – Player’s podcast is sponsored by WordPress