Posts

CARTOON: Login Dogin

Try R3X. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

Neighborhood Highlights, According to My Dog

Fence With Dog: This is where my friend Fat Dog lives. This is a great place if you are looking to socialize. And while you are here, be sure to take some big honkin’ snorffs of the billowing waves of his piss steam coming through the fence.

The Rise and Fall of My Cat, Former Zoom Celebrity: An Oral History

Dr. Erica Nuñez (pet psychologist): It can be stressful when the power imbalance in the home shifts so dramatically, when suddenly the pet is outshining the owner.

CARTOON: Cat Person

Allergic to crying. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

I Want a Refund on This Wedding Photography Package Because All You Did Was Focus on Cats

I have seven nieces and only one of them’s in a photo. But even in that one, her face is hidden behind a manx wearing a large felt hat like Meghan Markle. Couldn’t you have moved her? Also, couldn’t you have focused on my bridesmaids in their fabulous dresses and not kittens in ill-fitting cummerbunds?

CARTOON: Scuba Cat

This was a huge mistake. Today's cartoon by Mat Barton & Adam Cooper.

Introducing The Royal Court of Anxiety

Oh dear. I am the queen mother of my daughter hasn’t texted back today and I think it’s probably botulism. And more!

EXCERPT: The Complete Book of Cat Names (That Your Cat Won't Answer to, Anyway)

Basically, a baby name book but the babies were replaced by kittens. There are over 100,000 names…with about a 1,000 included in this book. The following is a sampling, in topics: Cats That Refuse To Use Litter Box: Surprises, U Kitten Me, Scat Cat. Porn Names For Cats: Kitty Kitty Bang Bang. Deep Coat, and more. Makes a purrrfect gift.

CARTOON: Trophy Wall

Cat scratch pillow. Today's cartoon by Lynn Hsu.

Brutally-Honest Petfinder 

Rufus has so much love to give. Our behaviorist jokes that this not-so-bashful toy terrier is battling a Charlie Sheen-level sex addiction. All kidding aside, it’s probably best to keep this randy rascal away from other pets, stuffed animals, and anything you wouldn’t want to see coated in semen.

CARTOON: Cat Tinder

Nothing looking purrrfect? Today's cartoon by Nathan Cooper.

CARTOON: CAT TV

Up next, holiday fireplace. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

#CatACar

Furrari, Mouserati, Purrche, and more #CatACar on this week's trending joke game!

Trump Live-Tweets the Cats Movie

I can’t stand back and watch Macavity defy the Law of the beautiful city of London. Total lack of leadership from Boris Johnson. If I were in charge over there, Macavity would not be the bafflement of Scotland Yard. Because he’d be IN JAIL!

Additional Clauses to Your NYC Apartment Lease Rider: An Excerpt of a Handwritten Legal Document from My New Landlord

153) Absolutely no noise after 10:00pm, even television, on any given day of the week: I mean it, there are no exceptions to this rule. Although it is only two beats total, my cat is trained to wake me at the opening sound of any Netflix show.

CARTOON: Dog Days

Back to the new normal. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

NEWS BRIEFS: Cat Caper

Weekly Humorist New Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

NEWSBRIEFS: Cats

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Ask Dr. Kit: Pup Smear - Veterinary Queries

Dear Nuts...   You're trying to get me to use the phrase, "you should drain your lizard".   And I'm not going to do it.   Nope.   Please discontinue this nonsense.

Classic Dog Films, Starring Cats

HOMEWARD BOUND: The SEAVER FAMILY’s three cats, CHANCE, SHADOW and SASSY, are abandoned at a ranch by mistake. Faced with making an inspiring, cross-country journey back to their loving owners, the three cats immediately give up and decide to become the property of whoever will feed them first. The Seaver family never see their pets again.

CARTOON: Catbird Seat

Purrrfect. Today's cartoon by Bill Thomas.

#CatAChristmasCarol

Santa Claws is coming to town, Do They Know It’s Catsmas, God Rest Ye Meowy Gentlemen, and more #CatAChristmasCarol on this week's joke game!

Other Movies We Should Also Add James Dean Into, Now That This Is Something That We, As A Society, Do Apparently

Well, looks like we’ve opened up Pandora’s box, folks! An upcoming independent film will be digitally adding James Dean into it, further blurring the increasingly-tenuous line between CGI and reality.  However, since this is something that we, as a society, are apparently cool with doing now… here are a few more movies that we should digitally insert James Dean into!

5 Types of Cats to Catcall in Place of Real Life Humans

Sphynx Cats: Can’t call your ex-wife ugly to her face anymore? Sami the Sphynx doesn’t give two shits about your troubled past that gave you an inner self hatred that projects onto other people. She’s just a cat! But she bites. So, wear your New Balances.

CARTOON: Trump Cats

Why so much Cheeto dust in the litter box? Today's cartoon Evan Lian.

Dr. Frankenstein And The Terrifying Trailer For The Film Version Of Cats

“Why are some of the cats wearing fur coats?” repeated Igor. “If they’re cats, why do they need clothing? And if the coats are made of fur, then what are they using to make the coats? More cats?

Talkward w/ guest David Martin

Today on Talkward is comedy storytelling host and performer…