Posts

I’m Addicted to Taking MDMA 3-4 Times a Year

Some people take MDMA for spiritual reasons, but I’m not acclaimed New Yorker writer Jia Tolentino. I take MDMA for one of the basest motivations known to humankind: I like having fun.

CARTOON: Wine Wisdom

Pour Decisions. Today's cartoon by Lindsey Budde.

CARTOON: New Hot Spot

Deserted Dessert? 5 stars. Today's cartoon by Lars Kenseth.

5 Summer Activities That Make Me Think You Might Be AI Generated

Now I know fun is subjective and there are many ways to indulge. I don’t judge! But, personally, there are some activities I believe to be so generic and dumb that only a computer could come up with it. (No offense to computers. My phone is a computer and I love my phone. But my phone also turns itself off after being left in the sun for 45 and a half seconds.) 

For Dummies By Dummies

That is why we’ve developed a new series, For Dummies By Dummies ®.  In each For Dummies By Dummies ® book, we have real, unqualified lay people posing as experts writing to other real, unqualified lay people in a way that is both relatable and completely unreliable. Join us in celebrating some of our newest titles!

Guide to Summertime Portmanteaus

Skort - a skirt that is also shorts / Jorts - shorts made from jeans/ Jort-Ski - when you ride a Kawasaki personal watercraft wearing jorts (see also, JortRunner) and more!

CARTOON: Garden of Eat'n

No brainer. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

#WrestlingRestaurants

International House of Paincakes, Steak n Sheik, Au Bon Pin, and more #WrestlingRestaurants on this week's trending joke game!

#SurlyCereals

Dreaded Wheat, CrankyBerry, Peanut Bitter Crunch, and more #SurlyCereals on this week's trending joke game!

#BugACelebrity

Wilson Cricket, Fly Stallone, Gnat King Cole, and more #BugACelebrity on this week's trending joke game!

#HorrorAHolidayFood

Ghoul Log, The Hills Have Pies, The Last Gingerbread House On The Left, and more #HorrorAHolidayFood on this week's trending joke game!

#JeerAJob

Stock Traitors, Hateress, Loon Officer, and more #JeerAJob on this week's trending joke game!

#GrinchAGameShow

Steal Or No Steal, Card Farts, Manson Family Feud, and more #GrinchAGameShow on this week's trending joke game!

#CrankyCocktails

Madhattan, Snidecar, Champagne In The Ass, and more #CrankyCocktails on this week's trending joke game!

#HorrorABusiness

Motel 666, Ben and Scary's, L.L. Speen, and more #HorrorABusiness on this weeks trending joke game!

#SadSodas

Coke Zero Friends, Sunpissed, Ginger Fail, and more #SadSodas in this week's trending joke game!

#RhymeAResolution

'Quit the vape, get in shape', 'I resolve to evolve', 'Try to get more sleep and be less of a creep', and more #RhymeAResolution on this week's joke game!

CARTOON: Costume Questions

The Future is Female Fun. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

The Best Goddamned Surprise 30th Birthday Party Ever

Katie, I swear, you must be the village idiot.  I know you would never park your car right in front of a SURPRISE party, now would you? Did you not think Karen wouldn’t recognize your SEXYGRL license plate and wonder what you are doing here?

#HauntedHeroes

Rainbow Fright, Indiana Bones, Scooby-Doom and more #Haunted Heroes on our weekly joke game!

Please Accept my Application to Join Your Post-Apocalypse Survival Crew

One last thing, and I think you’ll appreciate the crux of my proposal here: yoga. I’ve been practicing yoga for nearly three years now, and while technically not a certified instructor-- what? No, not certified, but does it matter? Surely your medic isn’t an actual doctor, right?

#FailedFallFlavors

Butternut Sasquash, Back to Skool-Aid, Pumpkin Lice and more #FailedFallFlavors on our weekly joke game!

#BlisteringBands

The Rolling Stoves, Central Air Supply, Backstreet Boils, and more #BlisteringBands!

Truly Terrible Summer Beach Tips

It can be dangerous to bring alcohol to the beach, and is more than likely prohibited.    Instead, get really drunk before driving to the beach.

#FishAnActionMovie

Raiders of the Lost Carp, Death Fish, Get Trout and more #FishAnActionMovie on this week's hashtag game!

#FailedCampActivities

Hearse-Back Riding, Catfishing, Anal Beading and more #FailedCampActivities!

#SleepySitcoms

Good Night Court, Snooze the Boss, Friendzzz and more #SleepySitcoms!

#TopRedactedWords

'Hamberders', 'Pee Pee Tape', 'Who's Tiffany?' and many more #TopRedactedWords in this week's hashtag game!

#RuinAn80sMovie

A Nightmare On Sesame Street, Pretty in Pink Eye, E.T. the extra-testicle and more.

#KnockOffCandy

Shittles, Gummy Sperms, Sweetfarts and more #KnockOffCandy in our comedy hashtag game!

CARTOON: New Year's Eve

Hope everyone survived last night! Happy New Year! Today's cartoon by Brandon Hicks.

CARTOON: Secret Santa

The safe word is NOG. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Rough Start to Summer: A Lifeguard Has Ordered the Ocean Drained After a Whale Pooped In It

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Plus, it's gross.

It’s the Audio Version of “The Dress”: Some People Hear “Yanny,” Others Hear “Laurel,” and You Hear the Voice of a Robot Demon Condemning You to Eternal Suffering

The internet is going crazy again, thanks to the most mind-blowingly…

Would You Like To Work At Our Start Up?

Hello, Trailblazer! Are you a passionate, driven individual…

Don Jr. Presents: Wonders of the Animal Kingdom

The Monkey   Our first animal today, children, is the…

CARTOON: Snowmen Assembly

Turning Your Lemonade Stand Into A Solid Money-Maker

Wet Lemonade T-Shirt Contests with several of the neighborhood…