Rejected HBO Max / Discovery+ Streamer Names

anticlimax, now with flax, batgirl axed, and more!

HBO Highlights Its Very Original, Very Unique Content

Rich People Being Absolute Lunatics, Iconic Show From The 90’s, Epic Fantasy Show That Costs A Trillion Dollars, and more!

We At HBOMax Have Decided To Cancel Earth

We here at HBO Max are proud to be home to some of your previously favorite now cancelled programs such as Love Life, Minx, and the first season of Westworld. And like all of our cancelled programs, Earth will be wiped off of all platforms, anything where its existence could be recorded or remembered.

I’m Dorg, The Lowly Servant in Charge of Lighting Every Single Candle at House Targaryen and It’s Bullshit That My Scenes Always Get Cut

Do we really think that the modern viewer is erroneously going to believe that when Rhaenyra walks into an exquisitely candle-lit room to chat with her frenemy Alicent Hightower that all those candles WEREN’T expertly lit by a servant who has ten years of expert candle training under the tutelage of Grand Candle Maester Clarence Candelite?

Shiv Roy’s Tips for How To #GirlBoss Your Way Through Losing Control of the Family Company

Don’t Trust Anybody: When shit’s falling apart, don’t trust anybody. Don’t trust your friends, don’t trust your mother, don’t trust your husband. If you’re going to trust anyone, only trust me when I say not to trust anyone. And more!

I’m The Peloton Bike That Killed Mr. Big, and I’d Like to Set The Record Straight

I can't understand why the media is so insistent on making me this season’s villain. Did you not see Charlotte struggling to cry through Botox? Carrie redirecting every conversation back to herself? Miranda, simply existing? And you think I’m the bad guy? An inanimate object hasn’t been so unfairly villainized since the crockpot on 'This is Us'.

Streaming And Screaming!

Escape Room 3:  Rise Of The Terrordome-  A group of strangers are abducted by a malevolent organization and placed into a series of increasingly dangerous escape rooms.  The strangers, after thinking about it for a bit, realize that this situation is much better than how things are out in the real world, and so decide to simply stay put.  (Oct 20, HBO Max)

What's New On Streaming?

The Haunting Of Geraldine's Toaster (Netflix) In the terrifying tradition of previous Netflix hits The Haunting Of Hill House and The Haunting Of Bly Manor, this new entry centers on young, optimistic family the Guthries.  The Guthries have just moved into a refurbished house with a terrifying past, and an even more horrific toaster, possessed by true evil.

Even More Specialized New Streaming Services!

Selleck-Select: Have you ever been watching a tv show or movie and thought to yourself, "This is okay, I guess... but sure would be a lot better if all of the characters were sporting a Tom Selleck-style stache!" Then you're in for a real treat with Selleck-Select!