Ten Sure-Bet Reality Shows Canceled After Initial Approval

Big Mother- Pitch: Cameras installed in the basements of 15 live-at-home male Gen Zers; the mother of the one who moves out first wins $100,000. Reason for cancellation: After six months of filming, the only activities captured on film were eating DoorDash-ed Taco Bell, video gaming, and masturbating to screenshots of Elon Musk.

CARTOON: Inflight Infatuation

Terrible, tawdry, takeoff! Today's cartoon by Michael Litwak.

Urgent:  It’s Me, Reality. I’m Trying to Get in Touch With You!

I tried to intervene, shaking the facilitator by the shirt lapels, waving smelling salts, and presenting a viral tweet about cheese. I said, “Come back to me!” But an argument broke out about whether it was the same year here as it was in Europe. “I’m telling you,” someone said. “I know for a fact that American women have been voting for at least the past two years.” “With their ANKLES SHOWING?” said the facilitator.

NOW CASTING: Romantic Lead For New Wave Reality Dating Show Filmed Primarily In A Sensory Deprivation Chamber

Get ready to Stockholm Syndrome your way into a dubiously legally-binding marriage with the least financially stable, most emotionally volatile, sentient pair of swim trousers you’ve ever met on our new dating show, Sex Fest Island. The twist? There’s no sex and you’re trapped 30 feet underground in a dark, dark chamber devoid of warmth or feeling. You are technically on an island, though. 


The Masked Swinger, Lancing with the Scars, America’s Got Debt, and more #RegretfulRealityShows on this week's trending joke game!

The Bigliest Sore Loser and 14 Other Future Reality Shows for The Post Presidency Trumps to Appear On

Criminal Double Jeopardy, Lame Duck Dynasty, The Bigliest Sore Loser, and more!

A Few Thoughts on All These Couples Self-Isolating Together and How I, a Reality TV Executive, Can’t Get a Camera Crew Across State Lines to Film Them

Think of the hundreds of hours of tearful confessional booth footage that will never be captured, never even make it to the editing room. I’m telling you, this will be our national treasure left buried. Our ark of the covenant. Our holy grail.

Other Reality Dating Shows Willfully Misinterpreting Famous Love Quotes

* “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” - Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet * Now streaming on Netflix: A Rose As Sweet! One bachelor will date twenty women named Rose. The twist: he can’t see them or talk to them. He must decide which Rose to marry -- only by smelling them.

Bachelor #244: There’s Trouble at the Mansion

It was incredible getting to know Cassie E’s family, as well as Cassie C’s and Cassidy’s. Although I didn’t get a blessing from any of the fathers, they definitely know how I feel about their daughters. Plus, I learned how to Skee-Ball!

QUIZ: Real Friend or Bachelor Producer?

When you start crying because your boyfriend just dumped you, your friend: A) Comforts you and gives you an obese carton of Ben and Jerry’s banana flavored ice-cream OR B) Locks you in a room for the next five hours and asks extensive questions about how the breakup happened, how it made you feel and whether you think you’ll ever find love again while holding a big camera and videotaping the whole thing.

Casting Call for Netflix's New Docuseries, So You Think You Can Bind, Torture, and Kill?

Three contestants will make it to the final round, where the killer with the most creative and functional soundproof murder dungeon wins, getting the ultimate binge-watching Netflix treatment and becoming a weird sex symbol somehow.

Episode Descriptions from Netflix’s All-New Real-Time Reality Show: Escape/Room

Two couples attempt to complete an escape room. While the timer counts down, they search for clues and make discoveries about themselves. We explore one hour of time in thirteen hours of gripping drama and revolutionary storytelling.

What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…