What ABC Isn’t Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld.

The original title of the show was going to be “Chlamydia Island”.

Losers forced to choose between death or being cast on an MTV2 reality show.

The scent of female desperation that hangs over the mansion is burning a hole in the ozone layer.

In regards to damage done to your soul, watching a season of The Bachelor is equivalent to poisoning a day-care center.

It has been foretold that, when the End Of Days doth approach, people who posted on The Bachelor fan message boards will be forced to fight those who posted on Full House message boards, to the death, using only a sharpened spoon soaked in urine.