"Tear gas residue in classroom still causing problems with allergies." "Sent home early as punishment for requesting a book from the school library." "Militia meeting ran late." And more!

Pack food the night before. Put shoes on in the car. For an on-the-go breakfast, freeze milk, a spoon, and cereal into something you’ll call “morning popsies” until they move out.

Connect with Nature: I try to strike a balance between giving your children hope and crushing their cute little souls with the reality of climate change, so in response to the cries of “I’m hungry!” and “I’ll even eat my vegetables,” I’ve started a small garden. Max loves digging his hands in the contaminated soil but he broke down in tears when he realized those seeds have zero chance of becoming edible food.

My trip from an untied shoelace in the hallway. Today's cartoon by Dan Misdea.

Non-learning started early. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Every time a Catholic girl says “condom,” an angel loses its wings.

After the health food craze of the '80s gave way to the comfort…