Modern Day School Absence Excuses
“My anxiety service iguana ate my homework.”
“I couldn’t get past the group of protesters in front of the school.”
“My homeroom teacher is still angry that I didn’t call her the day after our night together.”
“My bullet proof vest was still in the wash.”
“Militia meeting ran late.”
“Parents arrested for storming government building.”
“I was pushed out of a window by Vladimir Putin.”
“Parents wouldn’t allow me to leave the house while the Four Horsemen were hovering in the sky over America.”
“Tear gas residue in classroom still causing problems with allergies.”
“Sent home early as punishment for requesting a book from the school library.”
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
