The Many Nicknames of William Shakespeare

Sir Rhymes-A-Lot

Five-Act Jack

Quill Bill

Willy Slickspeare

The Merchant of Menace

The Pay-Right Playwright

Emcee Pentameter

The Unshaven Maven of Stratford-Upon-Avon

Lustre Rhymes

The Jacobean Jokester

Poet Snoreate

The Avant-Garde Bard

Front-Row Willy

The Bald Balladeer

William “That’s Not a Word” Shakespeare

Inky Fingers

Guillermo Del Sorrow

The Meandering Pen of Lord Chamberlain’s Men

Quippy Longstocking

Sergeant Sonnet

Thrilliam Shockspeare

The Elizabethan With Teeth In

Quill Daddy

Quill Diddy (adopted 1604)

William “How ’Bout Another Play Where Everyone Misunderstands and Kills Each Other?” Shakespeare

The Father of the First Folio That Gave Birth to Malvolio

King Fear

The Dean of PG-13

Avon Rhymesdale

The Poet in Big Breeches Who Wrote Really Long Speeches

Christopher Marlowe’s Friend

The Play-Hard Bard

Christopher Marlowe’s Special Friend

The Master of Spectacle, Bloody and Apoplectical

The Queen’s Little Writer Boy

Soliloquizzard

The Undisputed Leader of the Original Globe Theater

The Much Ado Kid

Lord Histrionic of the Romantic Tragicomic

Chaucer’s Boss

The Man with Acclaims from a Young King James

Julius Sleazer

The Bard Who Was Super Sad When Christopher Marlowe Died in a Bar Fight and No One Found His Body of Avon

The Great Emo of Warwickshire

The Viceroy of Verbage Who Man-Crushed Hard on Richard Burbage

Blood Sugar Sex Tragic

Brothello

The No-Refund Rhymer

The Man in Hose Who’s Not Big on Prose

Gothy McSkullspeare

The Dom of Rom-Com

Pulp Diction

The Promising Young Intern Who Gave Us Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

William “That’s Not a Real Ghost” Shakespeare

Earring Boi