Cast your vote through the high school rumor mill.
Pin it on a tumbleweed and let it blow through town.
Text your vote to American Idol.
Host a ballot reveal party.
Send a late-night text to your election official asking if they want some civic action.
Keep your vote bottled up inside then unleash it on your significant other.
Formulate it into a math problem and wait for a janitor genius to solve it.
Tweet your vote to Trump.
Hide it in the Wikipedia banner that asks for donations.
Roll it into a flashlight and meet at the playground.
Adopt a cuddly town crier.
Release it as a single featuring Ariana Grande and let it rise to the top of the charts.
Leave it under your pillow for the Election Fairy.
Print it on a souvenir grain of rice, feed it to a yak and send it to a poll volunteer.
Attach your ballot to a virus and let it spread.
Sam Brunner is a writer, comedy performer, and avid backpacker based in the Baltimore/DC area. Her love language is success and she dares you to check out her work at sambrunner.com.