The Most Reliable Alternatives to Mail-in Voting

Cast your vote through the high school rumor mill.



Pin it on a tumbleweed and let it blow through town.

Text your vote to American Idol.

Host a ballot reveal party.

Send a late-night text to your election official asking if they want some civic action.

Keep your vote bottled up inside then unleash it on your significant other.

Formulate it into a math problem and wait for a janitor genius to solve it.

Tweet your vote to Trump.

Hide it in the Wikipedia banner that asks for donations.

Roll it into a flashlight and meet at the playground.

Adopt a cuddly town crier.

Release it as a single featuring Ariana Grande and let it rise to the top of the charts.

Leave it under your pillow for the Election Fairy.

Print it on a souvenir grain of rice, feed it to a yak and send it to a poll volunteer.

Attach your ballot to a virus and let it spread.