Biggest State of the Union Surprises

When Melania’s code malfunctions and she receives a phone call through her mouth

When Trump calls out sick and Marlon Bundo, The pence family rabbit delivers a passionate and moving speech

Trump announces that the official state bird of Nebraska is now “tapioca pudding”

When Texas is declared as the biggest state of the union

When Trump says more than five words coherently

When Roy Moore stops the proceedings by crashing into the hall on his horse

When Baron cuts off his dad and yells “I’M PRESIDENT NOW”

Trump stops mid-speech, looks at his notes, looks at the crowd, and just says “What am I doing? How did it get to this. Who am I, really?”

Trump victoriously declares the end of the United States is nigh.

President Trump announces new novel to be written about he and Stormy, an erotic page-turner titled 50 Shades Of Orange.

The State Of The Union address doubled as a hot dog eating contest.

Not only is Trump in excellent health, but his thick and tangy blood is soon to be the new nugget dipping sauce at McDonald’s.

The wall is to be made mostly of the discarded Milky Way wrappers from Trump’s first year in office.

Pence flogging himself for brushing shoulders with Nancy Pelosi

Trump’s new podium: now made 100% from Cheetos

When Jared Kushner gets on stage to say more than three words

When Trump mixes it up, saying “lovely” in addition to “tremendous.”

Trump delivers State Of The Union shirtless as Stephen Miller shaved his back.