The People You Meet in Truck Stop Restrooms

Patsy and Butch: 

Met at a Denny’s two miles down the road from the drug rehab center where they had both been just released; three days later now and they’re engaged to be married and are planning on starting a satanic cult together.


Clive Owen: 

Not the actual Clive Owen, of course, but rather a rough looking fellow with the name Clive Owen tattooed onto his shaved, pockmarked head.  Why?  Who the hell knows, why don’t you ask him?





Turtle Jesus: 

This guy is taking up like four separate sinks making sure that his pet turtles have a place to drink and frolic.  He’s very emaciated and shirtless, as well as wielding a straight razor, so he’s pretty much left to it.



Traci: 

A pleasant woman in general, she can be rather brusque and insistent when attempting to coerce others to identify the tattoo on her back-hump that she’s unable to see herself.  It’s not that no one wants to help, but you can’t tell what it is, I’ve tried!  Maybe a dragon playing tennis?


Coven Master: 

Claims to be a “Seventh level warlock in search of a witches coven with which to join forces and reclaim our stolen glory”, but in reality is an acne scarred twenty something in an ill fitting Slayer t-shirt who honestly believes that he’s come up with a brilliant new way to lose his virginity.



Limpy the Goon: 

Self described “artist of the sexual avant garde” who drops by several times a week to see who’s using the glory hole he painstakingly and lovingly designed for his fans.