The Social Media Intern’s Deleted Tweet Drafts
Hey mom and dad! Look at me! I’m getting #paid to #tweet from this #brand’s account! Isn’t that #cool? #intern #job #marketing #brand #socialmedia #college
Hey again mom and dad! Actually, could I borrow some money? The job is going great, but #groceries are #expensive, you know? Do you guys have @Venmo? #intern #brand #socialmedia #college #studentdebt #billzbillzbillz
Hello everyone! Our brand has started a fund raiser! This is totally for our brand and not for our social media intern, who has twelve dollars right now. #intern #socialmedia #college #studentdebt #ihave12ollarsrightnow #
In our newest blog post, our social media intern shares with us his favorite recipe: yogurt and ramen! It’s his favorite because it’s all he’s eaten all summer so he might as well try eating it at the same time! #intern #socialmedia #studentdebt #hehas10dollarsnow #hehaslost15pounds
The weather at our office today is cloudy with a chance of #sobbing into a cereal bowl in the gender-neutral bathroom! #agency #intern #studentdebt #cereal #thetasteofdefeat
Interested in working for a company with super comfy couches? We’re excited to say that we are NOT that place! Our couches are as comfortable as a sidewalk covered in pointy garbage. My back is even tighter than my budget! Ha ha! #intern #internlife #couches #sleepingintheagency #ibefriendedthecleaningguy #hisnameisgene
Hey Google: Is it legal to sell my company’s couch and keep the money? Damnit, Google, no! Don’t tweet that!
Hey mom and dad! Me again! Just curious- why did you bring me into this world of #suffering? #intern #parenting #life #thecircleoflife #theblackholeoflife #
Are you there @God? It’s me, the social media #intern. Just circling back on that whole “life is a black hole” thing we discussed. Have you had a chance to review? Please advise. Thx.
Fuck it, I can’t do this anymore. I’m walking out right now. This is my last tweet. Fuck the man! Fuck capitalism! Fuck social media!
Hey @Wendys you guys are lit lol!!! #brands #marketing #lit
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Karly Brooks is a writer living in Brooklyn with her roommate’s dog and also her roommates. Her writing has appeared on McSweeney’s, BuzzFeed, The Belladonna, Weekly Humorist, a few ads and her Twitter (@brookskarly). Her hobbies include reading and writing, which is sort of sad since her day job is also mostly reading and writing. She should really find another day job.
