Things That Are Easier to Get Than an Abortion in America

Ripe avocados

A DMV appointment

An apartment in NYC

A glimpse of Susan Collins’ spine

Skinny jeans that fit after 40

A publishing contract

Therapy covered by health insurance

Health insurance

Paid maternity leave

Affordable child care

A man to admit he has benefited from legal abortion

On Roy Moore’s high horse

As emotional as Brett Kavanaugh at a confirmation hearing

Cell reception upstate

A doctor’s appointment that counts towards deductible

A deductible that’s less than six months’ rent

Republicans to believe in climate change

Into Marilyn Monroe’s dress by losing 16 pounds in three weeks

WAP if you’re Ben Shapiro’s wife

Fitted sheets to fold properly

A woman elected president