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Tips for Closing Up Your Summer Home
Summer’s finally drawing to a close – time to shut the vacation cottage down for the season! Make this chore a snap with our handy checklist – and happy Fall!
- Shut off the main water supply and drain the pipes. They last thing you want is to come back next season to a flooded house!
- A flooded house is bad enough, but coming back to find that mice and raccoons have taken over is almost as bad! Make sure to fix any broken screens and bolt all the doors. Burying a racoon skull upside down under your doorstep will further ensure that these critters know to stay away!
- Don’t forget to spread the ashes from your Solstice Offering around the property – your sacrifice will ensure a safe and happy vacation season for next year!
- You know better than anyone the dark things that sleep in these woods, waiting for the long nights of winter to give cover to their foul deeds. Check and double-check your incantations of protection before you leave the property!
- The Ceremonies of summer might look odd to outside eyes, but when you’ve got a portal to the shadowlands to bind, you can’t leave anything to chance. That girl was a drifter, what was she going to do with her life, anyway? To give it in sacrifice to save all of humanity (all the humanity local to this part of Maine, anyway) should have been an honor.
- Did the neighbors see anything? Do they know? What is seen can never be unseen, but dead mouths tell no tales. Act accordingly.
- The bones want to be found, they want to be found, they sing in the night, that girl had a mother
- Last but not least, make sure you disconnect your propane tank!
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Emily Flake is a cartoonist, writer, illustrator, and performer. She is a regular contributor to the New Yorker and the Nib, among many other publications. She is the author of a book of essays and cartoons about parenting called “Mama Tried” (Grand Central, 2015). She does a weird hybrid of standup and cartoons on stages throughout NYC and beyond, and is the creator and cohost of a monthly live interview show called NIGHTMARES. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, daughter, and a frail, elderly cat.