Ways To Painlessly Kill Time Until Election Results Are Available
Get a conversation rolling at the Web MD message forum by posting a photo of that weird scab on your knee.
Go into the back yard and talk to the birds (not too loudly).
See if you can get a toothpick to go through old piercings.
Chat for a bit about the new season of Game Of Thrones with the kid gathering carts in the parking lot of Target.
Try to remember how many people you made out with during high school; then, by year, semester, etc.
See how long you can hang out in the Waffle House parking lot before someone tries to start some shit.
Call your mom and let her tell you about what’s been happening on Grey’s Anatomy.
Ride your bike by the house of that woman you like, try to pop a few wheelies.
Drink some prescription cough syrup and try to do the puzzles on the back of a Fruity Pebbles box.
See if David Hasselhoff will accept your Facebook friend request.
Try to find exes on YouPorn.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
