What Happens When “Mic Check, One, Two” Isn’t Enough
Mic check, one, two. Mic check, one, two.
Check, check, check.
Check…
Keep going? Feel free to improvise?
Ok, umm, check one, check two…
Czech Republic.
Checka Khan, Checka Khan, tell me something good, sweet thing.
Check yourself if you’re in danger of wrecking yourself.
Knight to G5, check mate.
Cowboy boots? Check. Rhinestone denim jacket? Check. Absolutely crushing my Western era? Check yes, partner.
Chekhov’s gun. I’m just gonna leave it here for now.
Getting anything yet? No…?
Check one, check two, check engine light. Or not. Don’t let a light tell you what to do.
Check in with your mom, she misses you.
Check your body for moles and check your pet mole for mole moles.
Reality check: having a pet mole is not helping your dating life.
Check your friends’ Instagrams, but check your enemies’ Instagrams closer.
Check out my novel: The Strange Case of Dr. Checkyll and Mr. Hyde. It’s self-published.
Check your hair, check your teeth, check your breath. Now check your pocket for the ring. Shit.
Check, please!
Still nothing? I’m running out of checks here.
Double-check the back of the check in case the waitress left her number (she didn’t).
Check both ways before crossing the street, then check your situation: Are you really headed the way you want in life?
Check out my new social media site: CheckTok.
Don’t fact check this: alligators are secretly birds and birds are secretly Mormons.
How much wood would a woodcheck check if a woodcheck could check wood?
Checketh thine tongue for thou hast sworn fealty to his royal majesty, King Check.
Check yourself into a psych ward if you’re hearing chock.
Sometimes I don’t know if I’m checking the mic or if the mic is checking me.
Check this checklist—does it check off all of the check boxes you wanted to check?
The mic still isn’t working? I have other things to check, you know?
Like this gun. Did you forget about the gun?
Check that Chekhov quote. Something about using it before this thing is over, right?
Let’s check if I can shoot the mic into working. Ready? 3…2…
What’s that? Check if the mic is plugged in?
Oh.
Ok.
Let’s take it from the top.
- About the Author
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Tmo Bradach is based in Chicago, IL and is utilizing his dual degrees in English and Philosophy to write jokes for the internet. He once met the lead singer from Disturbed and got his autograph. He has since lost that autograph.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Luke Strom is a writer, podcaster and linguist based in Los Angeles. His work has appeared in Slackjaw, The Offing, Defenestration, The Haven, and on his mom’s fridge door.
