10 Things I (A Gen X Parent) Have Learned From My Gen Z Kids — In Haiku

Drawing furry porn

Is a way to make money

$10 a pop

If your pronouns change

You can still wear the same hoody

Every. Single. Day.

Asking if a friend

Is online or in real life

Invalidates them

A Swiss Miss sachet

Can be frequently consumed

As a dry powder


Streaming of video games

Fucks with the sonos

If your kid makes a

NSFW post

DO NOT click on it

Wanting to have T

is testosterone and not

A cup of earl grey

Old feminist creed

Makes the kids really upset

Don’t be a TERF mom.

Door dash delivers

7/11 items

From four blocks away

I cannot not ‘stan’ them

That would be really creepy

‘Stan’ is not just ‘like’