Originals

Quiz: Your Cat Or Your Teenager?

They are obsessed with primping, but seem to be allergic to showers and baths.


They are perfectly content to be alone.


But if you leave them alone for too long, they’ll almost certainly ruin some furniture.


They need so much sleep, like 20 hours per day.




Even though you bought them an expensive bed, they like to nap on the couch.


They never help with chores, in fact they make themselves scarce when you get out the vacuum.


You talk to them in sweet and loving tones, yet they give you the silent treatment.


They sometimes do this weird thing where they just stare into space. There’s no way to know what they’re really thinking.


Their Instagram account is more popular than yours.


When you touch them, they make an annoyed sighing sound and squirm out from under you.


They leave the house without telling you where they are going.


You can’t believe they’re going out with their butt hanging out like that for the whole neighborhood to see.


When they come home, it seems their sole motivation for returning is to eat. You wonder, “don’t I mean more to you than someone who provides you with a lifetime of MEALS??!!”


Despite everything, you live for the moments they come cuddle with you.


That smell though, what is with that smell?


Your cat: 1-15

Your teenager: 1-15

 

 

 

by Elizabeth Simone

Elizabeth Simone

Elizabeth Simone is a comedy writer and cartoonist based in the Bay Area. Her work has appeared in The Belladonna, Slackjaw, Points In Case and now The Weekly Humorist. Her writing has been described as “Hilarious! Not to be missed!” by her mom.