Best of 2022

9 Interesting Facts About Babies For People Thinking About Having One

Most babies are not able to care for themselves


Sure, some babies are a bit more autonomous than others, but for the most part, you are going to be the one caring for your baby. Don’t expect to just have a baby and then be able to check in periodically to see how it’s doing, unless you’re incredibly wealthy, in which case, you probably can do that. On the whole, parents should plan on being the ones who care for their baby.


Babies are not immediately able to walk


This one can sometimes frustrate new parents. When a baby is born, they do not have the ability to walk right away. So instead they crawl. As a result of this, babies often have a difficult time keeping up while on hikes or at music festivals. However, as time passes, the baby will naturally gain motor skills and learn to walk, largely, on their own. Meaning you won’t have to teach them something they should already know how to do.


Babies won’t apologize for things


Babies can be a little head-strong and sometimes have difficulty saying sorry for the things they do. Expecting your baby to be the one to extend an olive branch when you two have a tift is a fool’s errand. Whether your baby is waking you up in the middle of the night, throwing up on your favorite shirt, or just generally adding stress to your life, don’t expect them to say sorry, ever.


Babies do not eat regular adult foods right away


It’s a bit of a bummer for a lot of new parents when they realize that their baby does not like the same foods they do. Don’t be shocked if your baby doesn’t want to split a Rueben with you at the pub or have some of the fries that you ordered for the table at your favorite restaurant. Nope, when babies are born they can really only have breast milk, formula, and some weird puree type foods. It’s a pretty limited palate to be honest, so get ready to have to prepare separate meals for your baby. Which is, admittedly, kind of a pain.


Babies do not come toilet-trained


Unfortunately, it’s true. Children are not born with the ability to use a toilet, urinal, or porta-john. This is something you must teach them as they mature. When a baby has to go to the bathroom, they’ll just do it regardless of the surroundings or situation. You might think, okay well, at least they can clean up after themselves when they’re done, right? No, when your baby makes a mess in their pants, you’re responsible for cleaning it up. Seems pretty backwards, I know, but with babies that’s just the deal.


Baby clothes are smaller than adult clothes


This one tends to trip people up. Some people envision a scenario wherein they will be able to share clothes with their baby like they did their college roommate or siblings growing up, but in general it doesn’t usually work out that way. Babies are much smaller than adults and as such, their clothes won’t fit us and our clothes won’t fit them. That’s why I always tell people that having a baby as a means of doubling your wardrobe isn’t a great idea.


Babies do not contribute financially


It might seem a little unfair, but most babies do not feel compelled to go out and find work so as to contribute to the bottomline of a home. They will eat your food, want you to buy them clothes and other basic necessities, and force you to pay for their doctor’s visits, all without bringing anything to the table monetarily. And what’s worse, they won’t even acknowledge their own freeloading. If you’re looking for someone to share expenses with, consider getting married or finding a business partner, but don’t try having a baby because they’ll just mooch off of you for as long as they can.


A baby’s appearance will change over time


Don’t freak out when you have a baby and you think Whoa, are they going to look like that forever? They won’t, I promise. As time passes, a baby’s appearance will change and they will become taller, gain weight, grow hair, and so on. Just like you did!


Your baby will not come out of the womb having seen any of your favorite movies

A personal frustration, but when my baby was born I was shocked to learn that he hadn’t seen any of the Rocky movies. I remember once when I was burping him in a crowded park and someone’s phone rang with “Eye of the Tiger” as the ringtone and I said to my baby “Rocky III, nice!” And I could tell based on his wide-eyes and lack of response that the little guy had no idea what I was talking about. That was a definite learning experience for me. Know that no-matter what your favorite movie is, whether it be Jaws, Pulp Fiction, or The Wizard of Oz, there’s a pretty good chance that your baby hasn’t seen it.