Paul Manafort’s To Do List
Set the DVR to record the next 7 to 10 years of The Bachelor.
Arrange for Trump campaign volunteers to water my plants.
Have all of my teeth removed and replaced with razor-sharp, pointy steel teeth
Do a bit of sprucing up before the photo session for People magazine’s “Biggest Piece Of Shit, Human Garbage” issue.
Hide myself better than I hid my money.
Intentionally contract anal warts, as to be less appealing in the big house.
Try to somehow work a merchandising angle for all of the eventual Manafort effigies.
Hey, I just remembered! I don’t need to do anything! Trump will probably pardon me!