A Breakdown Of Where Your Weekly Church Contribution Goes
$348.23 Paying to have the church restroom toilet cameras upgraded to HD
$ 125.00 Money spent to ensure that church security keeps homeless people off of church property.
$ 27.82 Another few gallows of chloroform.
$ 3800.74 Solid gold Make America Great Again collection plate.
$ 75 Cameo message from Kirk Cameron wishing a happy birthday to Pastor Gristley.
$ 195 eBay purchase of a Pop-Tart in the exact shape of the Virgin Mary.
$ 470 Exotic dancer “Hunky Jesus” for Pastor Gristley’s surprise birthday party.
$ 2900 Private comedy performance by Bill Cosby to celebrate Pastor Gristley’s recent divorce.
$ 87 3 dozen bags of marshmallows, 8 syringes of sodium pentothal for Youth Group retreat.
$ 47 Plenty of pot-brownies for the bake sale, in order to keep the bids really jumping during the quilt auction.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
