Tips for Planning the Wedding of Your Nightmares After Realizing the Wedding of Your Dreams Is Too Expensive

Embrace a mismatched bridal party: Speaking of crafts, get creative and your bridesmaids won’t have to don the same stuffy overpriced ensemble. Let them wear whatever they want. Better yet, let them decorate a potato sack however they want. They’ll thank you for a look they can actually rewear. The versatility of a potato sack is unmatched.

CARTOON: Cash Clothes

Perfect plan. Today's cartoon by Bill Thomas.

VC Firm Shares Alternatives to Silicon Valley Bank

Place the money at the end of an elaborate treasure hunt. The ideal treasure hunt should take at least fifty years to solve, enabling the value of the cash to appreciate due to the mystery surrounding it.

CARTOON: Money Matters

Earnest earnings. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Honest Preschool Descriptions 

We charge to put you on a pretend wait list. Our vacation schedule will never overlap with the local elementary school - that’s a promise. Your kid will get lice.

Financial Terms, According To My Teenager

Gross Margin: Penis doodles along the edges of your Great Expectations book. Margin Call: The phone call your parent receives after the teacher spots your Gross Margin. And more!

Looming Threat of a Recession? Here's 8 Surefire Money Saving Tips!

Make Showering Dates: What better way to get to know that causal Facebook acquaintance or neighbor than to ask to use their shower? One look into their bathroom cabinet and you’ll find everything you need to know about them (even painfully intimate details). And, not only will you save on your water bill by racking up theirs, you’ll increasing your lifespan! Studies show people with more social connections live longer!

A Breakdown Of Where Your Weekly Church Contribution Goes

$ 195    eBay purchase of a Pop-Tart in the exact shape of the Virgin Mary. $ 125.00  Money spent to ensure that church security keeps homeless people off of church property. $ 87   3 dozen bags of marshmallows, 8 syringes of sodium pentothal for Youth Group retreat.

CARTOON: Unsure Offshore

Aching banking. Today's cartoon by Shelby Parker.

Monopoly for Millennials: The Updated Rulebook

Preparation: Each player chooses one token to represent themself while traveling around the board. Tokens include: Oat Milk, iPhone with Cracked Screen, Weed Gummy Bear, Podcast Microphone, Ill-Fitting Bridesmaid Dress (must replace after each use), Zoloft Tablet, Laughing Crying Face Emoji, Thimble - Each player starts with $1,500, but some players must give the Banker $100 every 10 minutes, in an effort to pay off their student debt. 

CARTOON: Fill'er Up!

Time to get a bike. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander & Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Game Night

They grow up and crush you so fast. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Doesn’t My Stupid Ass Grandma Know About Inflation?

Despite my Grandma’s success, everlasting legacy, and laundry list of accomplishments, her dumbass has been ignoring the fundamentals of economic inflation and giving me the same $20 dollar check for my birthday since I was six years old. And it’s time she got put on blast for it. 

I Regret Becoming a Millionaire in My 20s

I’m not asking for your sympathy, I’m just asking for a little empathy and some friends who will pay me back when I Venmo request them for the birthday dinner they didn’t treat me to, leaving me to coordinate transportation between mainland Chile and the South Pole igloo where we dined on foie gras while Yo-Yo Ma played the cello and cried. 

E.T. Receives A 39 Year Overdue Phone Bill For Interplanetary Roaming Charges

Since your account balance has been in arrears for over 39 Earth rotations around the sun, we contacted a debt collector. And by debt collector we mean an interplanetary bounty hunter. There was some Boba someone or other who seemed pretty keen on bringing you in, but then a group of Predators were willing to do it for free.

Helpful Money Making Tips For Getting America Out Of Debt

Fees for vaccinations that contain an added boost of Cialis. Make Trump pay his fines to the IRS. And more!

NFTs You Might Want To Buy From Me

These are going fast and you do not want to be left out! Illustrated list by Tiny Beast Comics.

Ultra-Trendy Side Hustles

Explaining rap lyrics to the elderly, and more!

GoFundMe Story Written By An Influencer Who Totally Hates To Accept ANYTHING From ANYONE

I need to be in SoHo to be surrounded by my fellow influencers and high-ranking members of society. As you know, I hate networking (see my YouTube video “Daily Struggles Of A Hot, Social Introvert”) but it has to be done.

CARTOON: Monetary Pains

When passing go passes you by. Today's cartoon by Steve McGinn.

CARTOON: Valentine Smarts

Chocolate Heart Inflation. Today's cartoon by Alexis Novak and Jason Chatfield.

CARTOON: Mega Millions Odds

May the odds be ever in your favor. But, they really, really aren't. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Quiz: Megachurch or Megamillions?

This institution is designed to suck money from hapless…