Truly Terrible Tips & Tricks To Keep From Touching Your Own Face

Place your hands into a toaster; keeps them out of play, and also smells great (sort of like bacon)!

Hire a S&M professional to tie you up; be sure to have a safe word so that they don’t try to stick a hair-brush up your butt or something.

Attempt to beat the world record for juggling.

Murder and cannibalize several people, so that you’re committed and placed into a straitjacket and Hannibal Lecter type mask.

While reading this article, realize that you are absent-mindedly touching your face (and also moving your lips as you read, but that’s a whole other problem).

Coat your entire face with pickle relish, which, while many find tasty, is also odd and unpleasant to the touch.

Star in a series of adult films in which others are sitting on your face.

Learn sign language and join a hearing-impaired debate club.

Have your face place a retraining order against your hands.

Become close friends with a person who is OCD and obsessed with playing Patty-Cake.

You’re doing it again… you were sitting there reading this article while holding your face in your hands.

Take a trip to Saudi Arabia and get caught stealing twice.

Hey, you’re doing it again!! Stop it!!!