A Stalker Murders Me (A Story Composed from Presidential Campaign Fundraising Emails)
Hey Thomas
You’re the best
Thomas
reaching out with an update
Question for you
Did you see my note Thomas?
Best way to reach you?
Pick up the phone
here’s the thing
Please give me a chance to explain
I’m worried
I need you, Thomas
will you come through?
I have nowhere else to go, Thomas
I need to know…
What are you willing to do?
I am frustrated and angry today
This is a crisis you cannot ignore
running out of time
before midnight, Thomas
I’m asking you one last time
Devastating
Complete disbelief
horrific
Shameful
the worst possible time
I won’t forget this, Thomas
I’m making you a promise
Don’t take my word for it
I hope you’re ready, Thomas
It’s happening!!
I’m coming to your state, Thomas!
Road trip
Today’s the day, Thomas
You should run, Thomas!
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Tom Ellison lives in the Washington, DC area where he writes humor, arguably. His work has appeared in Weekly Humorist, McSweeney’s, and Slackjaw.