It is with great sadness that we at JetBlue and American Airlines announce the end of our partnership. This was a very difficult process for us and we want everyone to know that we are parting on loving terms. We have nothing but admiration for each other’s low fares, bonus mile offers, and inflight menu selections.
Life, and The Justice Department, are simply sending us on different flight paths. Unfortunately, our bid to stay partners was not cleared for take-off. But we’ve still enjoyed three wonderful years together blending revenues, pooling our gates, and confusing the shit out of our customers. Although we must part ways, these moments will always be cherished.
We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity as we begin to unwind this partnership that we can’t even keep straight. Is the flight American but operated by JetBlue? Or is it JetBlue ticketing but American operated? Where do I even check my bag? These charming little idiosyncrasies of our association will sadly be coming to a close.
Our priority is, as always, our shareholders. Despite our heavy hearts, we are committed as ever to flying further, aiming higher, and making our seats even smaller.
While knowing that we will not be traveling together comes with a great deal of sadness, each of us is looking forward to the next leg of our journey. We appreciate your continued business as we re-route and take off in different directions.
We hope for a future where we are once again united. With United too, actually. Can we talk about buying them?
Until Our Next Monopolistic Merger,
American Airlines and JetBlue Airways
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Chelsea is a comedy producer and writer from Denver, Colorado. She attended Northwestern University where she wrote for the satirical magazine Sherman Ave and created Northwestern’s late night show The Blackout. Her writing and directing has been featured on Funny or Die and at the UCB comedy theatre founded by Amy Poehler and Matt Walsh.