Things To Consider When Buying A New Swimsuit
Are your testicles in the same spot of your body that they were the last time that you wore a swimsuit?
Do the various colors of the swimsuit do a good job of taking attention away from the bed-bug bites covering your back and thighs?
Is that odd, sour cabbage type aroma just the bathing suit, or is that simply coming from you?
Is this skimpy enough to attract desired attention, but not so skimpy that you won’t be allowed into Golden Corral?
When you decided to get the My Little Pony tattoo last year, were you also deciding that you could no longer publicly wear a swimsuit of any kind?
Is the combination of a snug bikini thong along with rectally smuggling a baggie of drugs a bad combo?
Will this swimsuit form an adhesive bond when placed onto a corpse? After how much time?
Will this swimsuit be an adequate dam again the tidal waves of swamp-ass?
Does this swimsuit have the necessary range of motion and flexibility to allow you to run full tilt away from the inevitable crazed gunman?
Should you perhaps just stay at home and instead watch far more attractive people in bikinis on one of those reality dating shows?
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
