Analogies For My Therapist

Noise-cancelling headphones : Baby on an airplane :: Effexor (37.5mg) : My subconscious

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Me at age 6 : Judging a book by its cover :: Me at age 23 : Judging a self-help book by its cover

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‘SOS’ : Deserted island :: Cups on my nightstand : Depression

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Spin classes : Rich people :: ‘Don’t laugh’ compilations at 2 a.m. : Sad people

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The dress online : The dress on me :: “I should bring this up next appointment” : “Actually nothing happened last week, like, I can barely think of anything, my life is honestly going great and there’s not really a reason for me to be here, you know, like, yes I freaked out because my Taco Bell order number was an odd and not an even number, and I didn’t enjoy my food because of that, but I can’t emphasize how good I am right now”

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Fergie : National anthem :: Intrusive thoughts : An otherwise lovely day

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Diesel : Car engine :: Final Destination franchise : Sense of peace when anyone is running late

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Bandaids : Internal bleeding :: “Have you tried Headspace?” : Being too overwhelmed to even shower

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Triple dog daring : Kids :: Not knocking on wood therefore condemning myself to hell : (This may just be me)

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Anchor : Boat :: Holding my boobs : Me in distress

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A baby left alone with peanut butter : A baby covered in peanut butter :: Me left alone with my thoughts : Me with a pit in my stomach, eating peanut butter straight out of the jar

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