Analogies For My Therapist

Noise-cancelling headphones : Baby on an airplane :: Effexor (37.5mg) : My subconscious

Me at age 6 : Judging a book by its cover :: Me at age 23 : Judging a self-help book by its cover

‘SOS’ : Deserted island :: Cups on my nightstand : Depression

Spin classes : Rich people :: ‘Don’t laugh’ compilations at 2 a.m. : Sad people

The dress online : The dress on me :: “I should bring this up next appointment” : “Actually nothing happened last week, like, I can barely think of anything, my life is honestly going great and there’s not really a reason for me to be here, you know, like, yes I freaked out because my Taco Bell order number was an odd and not an even number, and I didn’t enjoy my food because of that, but I can’t emphasize how good I am right now”

Fergie : National anthem :: Intrusive thoughts : An otherwise lovely day

Diesel : Car engine :: Final Destination franchise : Sense of peace when anyone is running late

Bandaids : Internal bleeding :: “Have you tried Headspace?” : Being too overwhelmed to even shower

Triple dog daring : Kids :: Not knocking on wood therefore condemning myself to hell : (This may just be me)

Anchor : Boat :: Holding my boobs : Me in distress

A baby left alone with peanut butter : A baby covered in peanut butter :: Me left alone with my thoughts : Me with a pit in my stomach, eating peanut butter straight out of the jar