April Fool’s For Safe Spaces
April fools is a nice idea in theory, but perhaps a bit mean-spirited. No one likes being called a fool, as Mr. T has recently learned in a series of out-of-court settlements. How about we instead call it J/K Day? That’s a lot more non-confrontational.
Take a friend out for a nice dinner at a new place in town. Beforehand, print up a fake menu that doesn’t include any gluten-free options. Zing!
Tell a friend that you accidentally left an iced mocha sweat-ring on the roof of their Prius. Gotcha!
Move a statue of a confederate soldier onto the lawn of an easily rattled pal. Hey, how did this get here?
Call a friend, while pretending to be from their bank. Inform them that you’ve been accidentally sending their charitable donations meant for Planned Parenthood instead to the Trump re-election campaign. Zingaroo!
Hack a friend’s Instagram account, add a few promotional ads for past Weinstein Company movies. Wheeeeeee!!
Attend a stand-up comedy show with a friend, pretend to laugh at several jokes that mention immigration and the country’s race relation problems. Beep Boop!
In a hushed voice, “confess” to a friend that your great-grandparents may have owned guns. Oh, the shame... gotcha!
Have a transgender friend over for a nice evening, when they excuse themselves to visit the bathroom, the hand-towel is slightly damp from when you were in there earlier. What the hell?!
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
